Home Made Advice

So, a guy likes me or says he does. Tells me how I have all these great qualities he has looked for in a girl. But, he doesn't want to be committed to anyone, can't date right now and wants us to be better friends. I get it, I've been really understanding. However, he acts like he wants to be friends with benefits sometimes, even though he said he doesn't want that at all. I like him, but I don't want to be naive. Please, help. ;(

Wed, 01 May 2013 03:57:00 -0400

Have you asked him for the reason behind why he doesn’t want to be committed to anyone? Did he have a bad experience or something? You should never feel like you’re naive. Never have any regrets about any decisions that you make ever. They’re just situations; Lessons, That you chose, and chose to learn from. If you want to do something, Do it. In essence, If you like him, Let it play out. Get to know him on a deeper level first because I sort of feel like there’s a few things he’s not telling you. There’s never a guy that just “Doesn’t want to be committed.” There is a reason for everything. Pick his brain about past relationship situations to try and find out if its a bad experience that turned him off from commitment, or just something else that he’s more committed to. After all, you should never be an “Option” or a “Choice.” Relate to him on an emotional level. Then, and only then can you safely make a decision on whether or not to stay where you’re at with him, Or hit the road. If you find anything more out about him, Don’t be afraid to drop it on my page. I’ll do my best to help you put the puzzle pieces together.

Hello:) so you're absolutely perfect. And I'm so glad that I met you. You've been such an inspiration to me since the day I met you. I can tell you anything and we can not talk for months and I know you'll still be there for me. So thank you. You're the best. :)

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 21:53:00 -0400

But… I don’t know who you are :X Regardless, I’m really glad that I’ve been able to be there for you when you needed somebody. Nobody deserves to feel down and out in certain situations. Thank You

Hokay. So there is this guy that really likes me. He lives 2 hours away. We met up. Went to a show. Definitely had fun. He acts like we're going to end up dating. I've told him that I wanted to take things slow because I don't want a relationship. But he won't stop with the sweet talk and picture sending. The plot twist is he gave me a really nice bong and has some of my clothes. I just want to let him down easy with no hard feelings (and get my stuff back). PLEASE HELP!!!!!!

Tue, 27 Nov 2012 08:24:35 -0500

Don’t feel obligated to like him the same way he likes you. Feelings just don’t work like that. In any relationship, it takes two to tango and if one person’s heart isn’t in it, it won’t work. If you explain it to him like that, high chances are that he will understand. Just do your best to make it sound more friendly rather than derogatory. “I don’t want to start something that I wouldn’t be able to fully put my heart into, and I don’t want to hurt you.” Turn the situation on yourself so its more assuring for him. At that point, that’s about the easiest you can go. There’s no easy way of telling somebody you don’t want to be with them unfortunately.

Best of luck <3

Jordan

I feel like my relationship is falling apart. I don't trust my heart to make the right decision. I also don't know what to do to "fix" it or if our relationship can be fixed. I am scared of making the wrong decision and having to live with the consequences. I feel like I deserve better and it breaks my heart to feel that way. I know you can't tell me what to do and you don't know the relationship but any advice you have would be greatly appreciated.

Tue, 27 Nov 2012 08:19:53 -0500

As cliche as it sounds, you have to do what ultimately makes you happy in the end. Only you know what truly makes you happy. In my honest opinion, you have to decide at this point whether or not the current relationship you’re in, is worth the stress. If you have any second guesses at all, then you need to get yourself out of this. Its at such a point now it seems, that even the little things that really wouldn’t have a bother, are beginning to throttle the progress of the relationship. Sit down, Have a hard think, Decide whats best for your well being, and go with it. Nobody can handle your feelings like you do. I say this a LOT in posts, but don’t let your head, fight with your heart.

Happy Thanksgiving. I am thankful for many things in my life but wanted to say thank you for your incredible advice. You provide a place for people to turn to when they feel like they don't have anyone else. You are amazing. It is people like you that give me hope. Don't let anyone hold you back, you have so much to offer and share with the world. You deserve to be happy and experience the best things life has to offer, above all, love.

Fri, 23 Nov 2012 16:34:47 -0500

Wow. Really… Thank you so much. I hope you had a wonderful thanksgiving yourself and I’m sorry I wasn’t able to get to this sooner as I was spending thanksgiving with my family. But really. I’m so glad you see this as a sign of hope and inspiration. That’s all I’ve wanted.

Sometimes I just feel so lost and alone. I get caught up thinking about life, about where I came from and all I've been through and where I'm going. It leaves me speechless. How can you go through so much pain and still have the ability to bring comfort to others when you can't even help yourself? Sorry for ranting, I just needed to get some of these thoughts out of my head. I guess, I want someone to talk to without any judgement.

Sat, 17 Nov 2012 05:42:11 -0500

You’re hurt. But you’re human, and you’re beautiful. Everybody has missing puzzle pieces somewhere. But that’s what makes life graceful. Striving to find and put those missing pieces back into place. I too, will also never understand how people can take time out of their days to throttle the progress of someone else’s life. As cliche as it sounds, Take it as flattery. They were thinking about you enough to take their precious time and use it on you. Its a sore way to think about it but its better than giving one to the bad guys. They don’t deserve your attention.

As for me? I go through a lot of pain and still have the ability to bring comfort to others because I grew up seeing how not to act. Growing up it was just my mom and I. Through everything. Thick and thin, mud and grime. All of her boyfriends, or whatever you call them never really treated her right. Ever. And I grew up seeing that. And I hated seeing my mother in pain and hurt and emotional distress. So I took it in stride and made a pact to myself that I’d strive to never treat anyone like she was treated for the first 12 conscious years of my life.

It’s not easy. Holding the world’s problems along with your own. But I feel like mine fade in time after helping so many people. Helping other’s solves my own problems. Its a release.

Don’t let people make you feel lost and alone. You’re anything but alone in this world. There are thousands, tens of thousands of people that feel the same way you do. <3

I live with a girl who I've had a crush on for three years but I was in a relationship until just recently. One of her best friends is another girl that I have had a crush on for a few years. My roommate is graduating this December and the other girl is graduating in May. I am here until next December and am confused as to what I should do. I am really good friends with both of them and have flirted many times with them. Should I try to take the next step with one or just stay friends with both?

Sat, 17 Nov 2012 05:34:54 -0500

The biggest thing here is to avoid burning bridges that aren’t supposed to be burned in the first place. However if you really feel like something amazing can come out of one of these relationships, I would say talk to the one leaving in may about your feelings toward the one leaving in December. By doing this, It gives you time to continue talking to Subject A about your feelings for Subject B and maybe she can help you take the next step. Taking into mind that the outcome of this situation completely depends on the attitude and mindset of Subject A (The one leaving in may). If this feels like an uneasy situation to you, then yes unfortunately it would be best to stay friends with both. However, unless Subject A has extensive feelings toward you in return I feel that she shouldn’t have a problem discussing your feelings for Subject B. Also keep in mind that you should only pursuit this if you really really think something great could happen out of this. Otherwise, you wouldn’t want to lose two people through one situation. You know?

You’ll find your way. Have confidence, and Don’t Hesitate

I've felt the need to post this for a really long time.

Thu, 15 Nov 2012 02:39:42 -0500

On December 17th, 2010, I fell in love. The night was to be spent with a best friend of mine playing our lives away in World of Warcraft. It was the week before Christmas and we had a new expansion ahead of us. In order to stomp the faces of all that cross our path we would need some game fuel. In order to retrieve this game fuel, we had to attend a store… So we did. She was beautiful. He knew her, I didn’t, but I knew that I was going to. Nothing out of the ordinary seemed to happen. We checked out, he said hi to her, as did I, and she said hi back. We explained to her how the rest of our night would go and she rolled her eyes, chuckled a bit and shook her head. We were nerds but that’s okay. In the car I told him how I thought she was really adorable. He replied verbatim with “Yo, Want me to see if she wants to come by later?” My face lit up. The night proceeded as is. Sloshing and destroying all we planned to in our fantasy realm. Until she came over. I dropped everything, He continued to play… Kinda. The three of us talked about Christmas to come, what we wanted, and what our plans were. As just, She left and the night continued. When she got home, I again dropped all I was doing to video chat with her. My best friend continued to wreck face. Little did I know that this video chat would spark the first relationship of mine that I can thoroughly call absolutely impeccably right. Over the next couple months we spent a majority of our time together. She was a nursing student so during the week she was at college. However on the weekends she would come home to work and that is when we would spend our time. If there’s anything better than cuddling and watching “The O.C.” Then it is unapparent and I have yet to find it. As time came and gone it had only escalated further. At the beginning of this whole ordeal, we made it clear to each-other that we didn’t want to throw a label on things but all of that disappeared when we said three words to each-other. Though still not putting a label on it, This was the truest relationship I’ve ever experienced. But don’t allow me to stop there. She slowly became my everything, (As if she wasn’t already) and I had no better feeling than her showing up to my house after not seeing each-other for a while and her doing that quick little awkward run-walk she would do into my room. She understood me. She inspired the dreams that guide me.

…I threw it all away. Blew it. Took it and tore it into a billion pieces. Shattered my own heart in front of my eyes. That was the first time in the history of the world that I’d guess someone has broken their own heart. Go figure, It happened to me. I didn’t cheat, I didn’t treat her wrong. The reason that this seemingly flawless relationship came careening down is because I over-thought. If there’s any single reason that I stress the point of not over-thinking, its because I don’t want the same thing that happened to me, to happen to somebody else. I over-thought something she did completely out of proportion, took it as a write off, threw it away, and spiraled myself into a situation that I knew wasn’t right for me, and everyone around me even knew it wasn’t right for me. I didn’t listen. I was stubborn. Now, I find myself in the midst of my dreams that came true, this music life, on a break from it all, recovering from sickness, alone in my bedroom, typing my spoils on tumblr, because I can never ever get her out of my head. The amount of times she comes up in my head would be appalling to you. Everything reminds me of her and I constantly go over scenarios of it recurring and getting everything back, in my head. Then I just stop for a second, snap into reality, and break down.

…Go me.

Moral: Before you over-think something, Over-think how you’re going to be if the situation that you’re in comes to an end. Think about the consequences before expressing the action. Or else you’ll end up alone wishing that you had everything back.

I have a really close guy friend. We talk to each other about anything and everything. I think that I have started falling for him, and I think we would fit together perfectly... But he's already in a serious, committed relationship and has no idea of what I'm feeling. I want the best for him and his girlfriend, but it's hard not to hold on to hope. Do you have any advice on how I should try to handle my feelings?

Thu, 04 Oct 2012 02:58:00 -0400

This is never an easy situation. Where you know something is there, but it just can’t happen. It’s extremely hard to manage. Everybody goes through these types of seemingly impossible situations however some just handle them better than others. The only advice that I really have for this situation is relax your mind about it. The more you think about it, the more anxious you’re going to get, and the more anxious you get, the more you OVERthink and the more you OVERthink the more you begin to create impossible scenarios turning the situation into a disaster. Try not to bring it up in deep conversation too much unless its with HIM. Lastly, don’t let it consume you. If you let it swallow you whole it’s just going to give you a fever that isn’t going to break. Let it relax and unfold itself. Whatever happens and becomes of it, is completely unknown and cannot be predicted. If things turn out for the better, they turn out for the better. And worse to each their own. Let it play out itself. Don’t force anything or you’re just going to end up trying to correct and it’s going to be a mess.

I miss one of my friends. To the point that when I finally see them I know I'm going to cry. And not just a little tear, I'm gonna ball. Hes been there for me so much even if he doesn't even know it. Whenever I face a problem, I think about what he would tell me. And I don'tknow how to tell him how much he means to me. I see his picture and my entire day is a million times better. I think of our past and just laugh at how stupid I was, but he

Fri, 14 Sep 2012 14:27:26 -0400

The simplest answer I can give, is tell him exactly. Verbatim what you just told me. Don’t be scared. Don’t hesitate. You’ve got a chance and you’ll never know the outcome unless you try.

My dad is serious the biggest piece of shit ever. And he's in jail. And my biggest fear is that when he gets out he's going to try and find me or contact me. Should I try to get emancipated from him? Or get a restraining order? I don't know what to do anymore about the whole situation.

Sun, 26 Aug 2012 00:01:15 -0400

If you’re truly in fear about the situation, you have to take care of it. Living in fear is no way to live by any means. You can’t go around being afraid of a situation like this. Talk to someone that can help. Make phone calls, figure out the credentials to keep him away from you. You have every right to fight the situation and nobody is going to take that away from you.

So here it goes. I've been with my boyfriend for two months now. Everything was great, but then it went downhill. I'm a big no-no person when it comes to drugs, and I made that clear when we dated. I recently saw he was talking to his friend about smoking pot one more time. I was really devastated about this. I lost complete trust in him after that even though we talked it through. He said he didnt mean it, but I can't trust anything he says anymore after that. What should I do?

Fri, 24 Aug 2012 22:16:17 -0400

Let it play out for a little bit. Assure him that if he does go through with what he said he wanted to do that he will never be able to gain your trust back. This situation is all about ultimatums and as extreme as it seems, It will play out to show what really means most to him. Friends, Or you. Play it by ear, don’t make any rash decisions yet. See how things go and if you ever for a second get suspicious, confront him.

today i found out from my boyfriend's mom that he is in the hospital and i can't talk to him or go see him and nobody supports me. none of my friends have time for me, so i was left crying in my room alone. my one best friend ditched me for two people he just met this summer while my other best friend ditched me for her boyfriend. i honestly feel like my heart is going to shatter into a million pieces and my insides are on fire and nobody will even answer their phone for me. what should i do?

Wed, 22 Aug 2012 19:01:35 -0400

I will start by bringing up the fact that you can talk to me as much as you need to. I know exactly what you’re going through and it’s really terrible. Find things that remind you of him. Even little little things. It will take the edge off a little, I promise. Listen to songs you both like. Something like that. Even talk to his mom about the situation. You’ll feel more comfortable knowing that someone else is going through the same thing you’re going through. You’re never alone. Don’t ever forget that. You can get through this. I can always promise you that. Another thing that I would suggest as ignorant and crass as it may be, Is to find new friends. If the friends you have can’t even make time for you in the situation that you’re in, they don’t deserve to be your friends.

On the real, I am here as long as you need me to be. Vent. Let it out. All of it. I’ll listen.

I'm engaged. I am attracted to someone else. What do I do? Things have been hard between my fiance and I but I am not the sort of person to cheat or have feelings like this. I don't understand if I am really attracted to this person or if I am just missing what my fiance and I use to have. What should I do?

Wed, 22 Aug 2012 18:01:59 -0400

Start by talking to your fiance. Tell him/her that you miss what you used to have. Tell them not to get frustrated and assure them that you’re only bringing this up because you simply just want things to get better. They won’t get better if you both don’t try at it. As for the other person, you haven’t had them in your life like you’ve had your fiance in your life. You could be experiencing false feelings due to the fact that the grass seems greener than the lawn with your fiance and you. Don’t let them trick you because they aren’t really what you want. I don’t know how to read minds, But I can tell that deep down the only thing that you really want, is to work it out with your fiance. You want that person in your life remarkably more than this other road block. Follow your HEART. Don’t ever let your mind and heart fight. You’ll overthink everything and it will turn into a disaster. The number one rule of life is to mend ties. Even if they weren’t meant to be damaged or broken in the first place.

-Follow your heart

-Jordan

I really like this guy and he likes me too, but neither one of us have taken it to the next step. Do you have any suggestions?

Mon, 13 Aug 2012 06:04:30 -0400

Well one of you has to make the first move! You both like each other so it shouldn’t be that much of a problem. Just go for it! If you’re both on the same page then there’s absolutely nothing to worry about. Go with your gut, take chances, and throw your heart out there. That’s what it’s for. Best of luck!

You make me feel loved, special, wanted and exclusive. You make me reminisce. You make me smile the most stupidest grin, but it's a very large one at that. Just by hearing your name, song, or getting a text from you. Thank you, because you make my day so much better. You give advice in the way that I need to hear it, but also in the way I want to hear it. And I fearlessly stumble into thing, just knowing your there and can give me advice along the way. Thank you, seriously. Thank you.<3

Tue, 17 Jul 2012 13:16:23 -0400

I’m glad I am an was able to help you with the things that I have. That’s all I aim to do is to help.

I don't feel beautiful.

Mon, 16 Jul 2012 21:00:00 -0400

Why not. Everything about you is beautiful. I don’t even know who you are and I know that. How? Everybody is beautiful in their own way. I know it sounds really cliche but hear me out for a second. Think about it. Nobody can do things the way that you do them. People will look at you, scower, and show grievance to the way you do some things. The way you act. Your personality. All of that. It happens to everyone. But the simple beautiful fact is that Nobody can take that away from you. There’s nobody else alike you. You are the only one. Don’t let somebody’s word get you so deep. Don’t be on the run from yourself. Because behind all the hate that people show, there is an incredible, one of a kind human being. You have people that love you dearly. And nothing else matters but them. People have two options. Accept you for who you are, or not associate with you at all. They don’t have to like you, But if they don’t they’re running away from difference. Never stop feeling beautiful. You are amazing. I love you, and everyone that has a formidable relationship with you loves you dearly.

Would you ever consider being in a long distance relationship? Or are they just too complicated? A lot of people have different views on it.

Fri, 13 Jul 2012 02:36:23 -0400

Distance is nothing if love is there.

i'm kind of in love with this guy. we've only been dating for about two months but i practically live with him. He does everything for me and everything with me. We have our ups and downs just like in every relationship but when he's drunk it's like a completely different story. Like he pushes me away from him and like throws stuff at me and calls me names. I don't want to break up with him but i don't really know what else to do. HELP.

Fri, 13 Jul 2012 02:35:21 -0400

You have to give him an ultimatum. Alcohol or you. It’s a harsh situation but if he knows what’s right for him, he’ll chose you over the alcohol. No relationship should have to be split by a beverage.

So this kid asked me to hang out. And I'm not into him at all like that. Like he's cool and all, and I wanna be his friend, but he was giving me the vibe it was like a date. I have a thing with a guy, and I don't want to give the wrong impression to either of them. How do I tell my friend that I only want to hang out with him as friends without coming off as a bitch, and getting the "is it because I'm fat?" speech from the guy...?

Thu, 12 Jul 2012 03:06:28 -0400

This is always a tough decision because the person will automatically think that it’s their fault. The only thing I can tell you is just try your best not to be hard about it. Which will be tough because theres no real “good” way to tell somebody you’re not “into” them like that. Just tell him you enjoy what you have as friends and that you’ll be there as a friend but you really don’t see it as something bigger. Assure him that it’s not his fault.